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Current Location: New Orleans
Vital Statistics
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Real Name:
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Elliott Hammer
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Birthdate:
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1969-02-10
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Birthplace:
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Topeka, KS
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Education:
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Whitson Elementary (Topeka); Eliot Elementary (Tulsa, OK)
George W. Carver Middle School (Tulsa)
Booker T. Washington High School (Tulsa)
University of Kansas (BA Psyc)
Tulane University (MS, PhD Experimental Social Psychology)
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Distinguishing Marks:
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"Gigantism," according to Gary
Disproportionally small calves and strangely pronounced love handles
Roman (read: "Massive") nose
No cavities!
Small chin from a life of mouthbreathing
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Pre-Existing Conditions:
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Hammer toes (literally)
Still-pending voice change
Assorted neuroses involving talking on the phone, offending people, and appearing presumptuous
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Prior Convictions:
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Never had the balls to do anything that would get me arrested
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Current Job(s), Length Held:
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Assistant Professor of Psychology for 10 years (4 at Tennessee State and 6 at Xavier University of Louisiana)
Currently pending impressive title change: Associate Professor of Psychology and John LaFarge Professor in Social Justice
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Previous Job(s), Length Held:
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Red Cross Vehicle Cleaner (1983); Dishwasher/Cook, Silver Plow Bar & Grill (1984); Cook/Register/etc, Big Al's Subs & Health Foods (1985-1987); Pizza Deliverer/Travis Bickle Channeler, Pizza Shuttle (1989-1991); Graveyard Shift Waiter, Deja Vu Bar & Grill (1991); Graduate Student/Fellow/RA/Adjunct Instructor, Tulane (1991-1996); Waiter (again), Slice of Life (1996); Adjunct & Asst. Prof of Psychology, Belmont, Middle Tennessee State, Vanderbilt, & Tennessee State Universities (1996-2000)
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Last Book Read (and opinion in 4 words or less):
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A Long Way Down--Hornby Continues to Slide
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Last Video Rented (and opinion in 4 words or less):
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Kicking & Screaming--Will Ferrell Will Pay
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Political Orientation:
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Wannabe Liberal
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Religious Affiliation:
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Baffled/Skeptical
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Musical Instrument(s):
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I'm a listener, not a player (playa?)
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Favorite Music/Band(s):
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The New Orleans Sound (Fess, Jon Cleary, Dirty Dozen, Rebirth, Big Sam, Bonerama, PGF, All Marsali, Fats, Gatemouth, Joe Krown, Soul Rebels, Kirk Joseph, Kermit, Panorama, John Boutte, etc), Radiohead, Rolling Stones, Damien Rice, Wilco, Robert Randolph
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Favorite Techno-Fetish-Object:
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Whatever B tells me about
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Favorite Sport/Activity:
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I'm a watcher, not a player (playa?)
College Basketball (go Jayhawks), Saints, Women's Beach Volleyball
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Favorite Drug(s):
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Bourbon, beer, wine, shrooms, conceit
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Favorite Mixed Drink(s):
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Bourbon, mixed with ice
Beer, mixed with nothing
Wine, mixed with nothing
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Personal Motto/Excuse:
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It's all my fault
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